This is a message that I never got to send
Thoughts unbidden
I’ll carry with me til the very end
Words unspoken but written down
In this very note
Tears dried out
Long before an anger unprovoked
The truest thing at the time, I had ever known
A love so strong, I was convinced it was the purest form
Luck ran out…
Or was it ever even on our side?
At the first sign of permanence
You would always run and hide
Your special move, not hard to miss
Requesting space for resolution
Subterfuge and artifice
Amidst the clouds and the confusion
You would always flee, and I would spark the chase
In my pursuit I never took note of the exhaustion on your face
Had I stopped to take a minute
I’d have seen your countenance
Your visage made it very clear; you no longer wanted this
I had lost my way,
And drowned myself in using you to gauge my worth
I changed from selfish to selfless, but incorrectly put you first
Self-love is so important, and maybe you saw I lacked
Mathematical impossibility for someone to love you back
If you don’t love yourself
I knew my love was strong
But on some level you sensed my morals and my priorities were wrong
You set me free
That was your greatest gift
Since losing you, I’ve taken hold of life
And I love what I’ve made of it
I’m not writing this to boast or brag to show off or even gloat
It’s more of a thank you… or whatever else you think it could connote
This is a message that I never got to send
Thoughts unbidden
I’ll carry with me til the very end
Words unspoken but written down
In this very note
Tears dried out
Long before an anger unprovoked
A message I had to write and one you’ll probably never read
I had to bear the pain and loss
And shed the things I didn’t need
