As the line coalesced and the faces reappeared
The muffled screams became audible… and loud
What they said became clear
Again, a language I knew I didn’t know
But the message was something I could feel
And definitely perceive
They wanted me to stop
Stop trying what it is I’m attempting to achieve
I started to recognize other faces
Other members of this crowd
It was the peanut gallery
A few haters,
But also my doubts and the physical manifestations of my fears
All of my demons, I guess
My brows furrowed and my eyes narrowed as recognition formed from what was once a cloud
What caused this sudden clarity?
What parted this veil? Lifted this dark shroud?
Why now, have I revealed who I have most to fear?
My ego, and all of my insecurities trying so hard to protect the things they believe I hold dear
I’m afraid to fail at times, but more than that I’m afraid to not try
I don’t want to leave this earth wondering if… what if… wondering why…
Some nights, I wake up in a panic
I don’t think this will go the way I’ve planned it
The work won’t manifest itself into…
My dreams won’t become reality, is what I’m trying to say…
Some days I’m living out my dreams, it feels so magical, so serene
Sleep is impossible because of the joy… the excitement… the bliss
I hope you can understand what I mean… before the line disappeared,
A question parted my lips and entered the void
Who determines this line between insanity and persistence?
The question echoed a few times… many times, actually.
So many times I almost missed the answer that returned.
