Sometimes I wish. Wish I could go back. Back in time.
But just for a second
Not too many regrets
I’ve just got a couple
Most choices I’ve made
I can stand by. I’m proud of.
But what if I hadn’t turned and looked at you that night?
What if I had blinked, you had passed, without my vision. My sight.
What if our paths had never crossed
And we had never met?
Who would I be? Who would you?
If you’d escaped my glance for just a moment or two.
Would I still be chasing that ghost… the ghost of who I was?
Trying so desperately to impress others
Doing things just cuz
Up shit’s creek, stranded
With neither paddle nor oar
I’d like to recapture that moment we met… but not for a second more.
Sometimes I wish. Wish I could go back. Back in time.
But just for a minute
Not to change much
I’d just want to relive it
I’m doing well right now,
All things considered
Still…
I would give anything to feel free
Untethered. Unburdened.
Unbothered. Unabashed. Unmistakably uncertain.
Unsure whether my joy would always remain.
But thankful for that single minute I felt truly unafraid.
Sometimes I wish. Wish I could go back. Back in time.
But just for an hour
To recapture my confidence.
Recapture my hunger.
Feel a fraction of my aura.
That courage.
That power.
So I could save it for those days
When I’ve got nothing left
And always know the standard
And never aspire for less
Sometimes I wish. Wish I could go back.
Just for a day.
But how much would it change?
If I had never gotten in that car, how different would life be?
Maybe I would have chosen a different career
Maybe I wouldn’t be living overseas
To be honest, I don’t think I would change it.
That day would have come later on
Because the feelings would have remained
That single day didn’t define or create what came next
That day was an amalgamation of my anger, fears, and my stress.
Sometimes I wish. Wish I could go back. Back in time.
Cuz that was the year.
But the reason is different. So much different from the others, I swear
That year wasn’t my finest, or most challenging at all
But it was the moment in time I truly found love
I had almost given up on life
I was this close to calling it quits
I had flirted with that blade, those pills… all of it.
This was the year I had finally accepted myself
And realized I was wrong to look for purpose in anyone else
This was the year I had finally chosen to be the man I’m still trying to be
This was the year I stopped searching cuz I had finally found me.
